{"id":896,"date":"2025-07-14T22:22:46","date_gmt":"2025-07-14T22:22:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/michelleshaw.co.uk\/?p=896"},"modified":"2025-07-14T22:22:46","modified_gmt":"2025-07-14T22:22:46","slug":"this-is-what-it-feels-like-to-carry-something-bigger-than-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hopeful-elgamal.88-208-215-195.plesk.page\/?p=896","title":{"rendered":"This Is What It Feels Like to Carry Something Bigger Than You"},"content":{"rendered":"

Trying to Translate a Language No One Else Speaks<\/em><\/h3>\n

I\u2019ve felt like what I imagine Einstein felt like in his generation.
Not because I think I\u2019m a genius \u2014
but because I\u2019ve spent my life holding truths that didn\u2019t have names yet.
Walking through a world that didn\u2019t have the language for what I carried.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not about intellect.
It\u2019s not about brain type, wiring, diagnosis, or condition.
It\u2019s not even about being conscious or unconscious.<\/p>\n

But it is<\/em> more meaningful \u2014 and far more easeful \u2014
when the people I\u2019m speaking to are awake.
When they\u2019ve begun to see themselves clearly.
When they\u2019re ready to ask for help \u2014 even if they don\u2019t yet know how.
(I have tools and pathways for that. \ud83e\uddf0)<\/p>\n

It helps when they\u2019ve peeled back some layers.
When they\u2019ve sat with their own discomfort long enough
to recognise the effort it takes for someone else just to stay standing.
When they can meet me with curiosity instead of control,
presence instead of performance. \ud83c\udf31<\/p>\n

\n

Because some people will never hear the language or frequency I engage \u2014<\/strong>
not because I\u2019m too much,
but because they\u2019re still locked into autopilot, immersed in surface-level noise \u2014
unable to sit in silence,
tuned only to the static of survival. \ud83d\udd0a<\/p>\n

Desperate for background noise just to function,
while I broadcast with intention \u2014 live and on demand. \ud83d\udcfb
And I\u2019ve stopped sending signals to places I don\u2019t want to be aired.<\/strong> \ud83d\udeab<\/p>\n

\n

Because this was never meant for everyone.<\/p>\n

While some remember lockdown for the banana bread \ud83c\udf4c, Zoom quizzes \ud83c\udfb2, and kitchen discos \ud83d\udc83,
I was quietly building something else.
Not just a livestream. Not just music.
A sanctuary<\/em>. \ud83d\uded1\ud83d\udcac\ud83c\udfb6<\/p>\n

A private, off-the-radar space for those who needed more than distraction.
They needed belonging. \ud83d\udca0
Connection.
Freedom.<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t about popularity, reach, or clout.
It was about loyalty, safety, honesty \u2014 and space to just be<\/em>.
To dance \ud83d\udd7a, cry \ud83d\ude22, laugh \ud83d\ude02, chat nonsense \ud83d\udcac, or sit in silence \ud83e\udd2b \u2014
with people who got it, without ever needing it explained.<\/p>\n

And some of those people? They\u2019re still here, five years later.
Still tuning in \u2014 not for nostalgia,
but because they remember what it felt like to be seen, to be held, to be real.<\/p>\n

Because this was never just a show.
It was a signal.
And I\u2019ve always been broadcasting \u2014 whether anyone was ready to hear it or not. \ud83d\udce1<\/p>\n

\n

I understand people who\u2019ve been holding it together for decades \u2014
who \u201cmanaged\u201d on the surface until they couldn\u2019t.
The go-to person. The high-functioning one.
The one who kept going until burnout, diagnosis, or breakdown brought everything to a halt.<\/p>\n

I know what it\u2019s like to unravel \u2014
not from weakness, but from the weight of being unseen for too long.
And I know what it takes to rebuild \u2014
with boundaries, with integrity, and with a quieter kind of courage. \ud83d\udee0\ufe0f<\/p>\n

\n

I\u2019ve always known there was more.
More beneath the surface.
More between people\u2019s words.
More behind the systems we\u2019re told to trust.<\/p>\n

I walk into spaces and feel what\u2019s unspoken.
I sense where things aren\u2019t working.
I name what others are afraid to admit \u2014 gently, but clearly. \ud83d\udd6f\ufe0f<\/p>\n

What feels obvious to me, others often miss.
But I can\u2019t not<\/em> see it.<\/p>\n

And for years, I tried to make that \u201cmore\u201d smaller.
Digestible. Neater. Quieter.
I learned to mask it. Shape it. Translate it.<\/p>\n

But translation is exhausting when no one\u2019s listening.
And carrying something bigger than you \u2014
a vision, a knowing, a way of being<\/em> \u2014
is lonely when the world isn\u2019t ready for what you carry. \ud83c\udf0c<\/p>\n

Still\u2026 I carry it.
Because I can\u2019t not.<\/p>\n

\n

If you\u2019ve ever felt like you should<\/em> want the neat resolution, the quick fix, the tidy ending \u2014 but don\u2019t…
If you\u2019ve ever felt torn between resting and rebuilding\u2026
If you\u2019ve feared your own freedom because of what it might cost you\u2026
If you\u2019ve silently screamed for change but had no idea where to begin\u2026<\/p>\n

You\u2019re not broken \u2014 you\u2019re breaking free.<\/strong> \ud83d\udd4a\ufe0f<\/p>\n

\n

This isn\u2019t about identity.
It\u2019s about essence<\/em>.
About living with a frequency inside you that doesn\u2019t match the volume outside. \ud83d\udd09\ud83d\udcab<\/p>\n

And yes, it\u2019s heavy.
But it\u2019s also sacred. \ud83c\udf19<\/p>\n

Because some of us came here to hold the blueprint for what could be<\/em> \u2014
long before the world had ears to hear it. \ud83d\udcdc<\/p>\n

\n

So if you\u2019ve ever felt misplaced in time\u2026
If you\u2019ve ever tried to explain yourself in a language no one else speaks\u2026
If you\u2019re carrying something that feels too big for your body some days\u2026<\/p>\n

This may not make sense to everyone.
It\u2019s not supposed to.<\/p>\n

But if it resonates \u2014 if something in your body says yes<\/em>,
even if you don\u2019t yet know why \u2014
then know this:<\/p>\n

I see you. I hear you. And I\u2019m here.<\/strong> \ud83e\udd1d
Whether you’re still translating your truth or just starting to trust it,
you don\u2019t have to do it alone.<\/strong> \ud83d\udc9b<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Trying to Translate a Language No One Else Speaks I\u2019ve felt like what I imagine Einstein felt like in his generation.Not because I think I\u2019m a genius \u2014but because I\u2019ve spent my life holding truths that didn\u2019t have names yet.Walking through a world that didn\u2019t have the language for what I carried. It\u2019s not about […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":898,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-896","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hopeful-elgamal.88-208-215-195.plesk.page\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/896","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hopeful-elgamal.88-208-215-195.plesk.page\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hopeful-elgamal.88-208-215-195.plesk.page\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hopeful-elgamal.88-208-215-195.plesk.page\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hopeful-elgamal.88-208-215-195.plesk.page\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=896"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/hopeful-elgamal.88-208-215-195.plesk.page\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/896\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hopeful-elgamal.88-208-215-195.plesk.page\/index.php?rest_route=\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hopeful-elgamal.88-208-215-195.plesk.page\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=896"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hopeful-elgamal.88-208-215-195.plesk.page\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=896"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hopeful-elgamal.88-208-215-195.plesk.page\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=896"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}